Chapter 14

Wednesday - November 27, 2002

"Nick!" I screamed excitedly once I opened the door and saw him standing there with a smirk on his face. I haven't seen him since we got back from New York. he's been here, there and everywhere. between doing promo stuff for his album and boat racing all we've been able to do lately is talk on the phone (and my cell phone bill certainly proves it! I just had to up the minutes on my contract cause I'm on it with him so damn much!). I just looked at him for another second then threw my arms around his neck, hugging him to me.

Nick just laughed, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me to him "miss me?" he asked with a chuckle

"God yes! how've you been? you sound sick. are you okay?" I said all at once, pulling away from him and looking at him.

"Jesus girl. why dont you let him in?" Kris said with a laugh, coming up behind us

"shut up" I said to her with a laugh and grabbed Nick's arm - pulling him into the house.

Kris just rolled her eyes at me then went over to Nick to give him a hug "good to see you pop star."

Nick laughed at her, hugging her back "it's good to be here, trust me" he said

"awww... are those nasty media people treating you not so normal?" Kris teased him as we all walked into the living room and sat down

"God, I love hanging out with you two" Nick said, genuinely seeming to mean it.

"nah, you dont like us. you just like that we dont take your shit" Kris said with a grin

"whatever Kris. so, how've you two been?" he asked, looking from me to Kris

"good. nothing new really. same shit different day" Kris said to him

Nick nodded then looked at me

"what? like you dont know what's going on in my life? Christ, we talk every day Carter. nothing new has happened since last night" I teased him. Jesus, I honestly cant even believe how good it is to see him. damn, I knew I was missing him but this is ridiculous. "how long you here for? wait, dont tell me. you're leaving in like an hour or something, right?"

Nick just laughed at me "actually, I'm staying the night if that's cool with you two" he said

"what! of course it is! to what do we owe this honor?" I said

"actually, we fly out early in the morning so I figured it'd be easier for me to just stay the night here. that way I can make sure your ass is up so we dont miss our flight"

"yeah right! what you mean to say is this way I can make sure both of you are up on time!" Kris said to him

"well, yeah." Nick said

"whoa. hold up. what flight? I'm not going anywhere" I said, confused. come to think of it, Kris doesn't look all that confused. what the hell is going on here?

"uh, yeah you are Kate" was all Nick said

I looked over and Kris and she just shrugged her shoulders with a shit eating grin on her face. oh yeah, she definitely knows what's going on! "hmmm.. so where exactly am I going?"

"Detroit, Marathon, New Jersey then New York. you'll be home Tuesday"

I just looked at him like he has three heads "what! Nick, I cant go to all those places! Jesus, I do have a job you know!" I said. what the hell kind of drugs is this guy on?

"yeah, you do. but you're also off until next Wednesday" Kris said with a grin

"excuse me?" I asked

"I already talked to Jeanne. we worked it all out. I'm off tomorrow and Friday then all next week so I'm gonna help her out at the gym. so you're free to jet off with pop star here" Kris said

I just continued to stare at her then I slowly looked at Nick "why those specific cities?" I asked him

"I have concerts in New Jersey and New York. tomorrow we're going to Detroit for the Thanksgiving day parade then we're flying back down to Marathon right after for Thanksgiving with my family" Nick said

I slowly nodded then it hit me what he just said. Thanksgiving with his family!? "what?" I asked

Nick laughed "pops wants to meet you. he's been bitching at me since I met you to meet you too. so, I figured why not Thanksgiving. I called Kris to see if you were flying up to see your family and she said no, so I thought more about it, looked at my schedule then she helped me plan this trip"

"oh really?" I asked, turning to glare at Kris kiddingly "nice to tell me!"

"he swore me to secrecy. said if I told you what was going on he's post it all over the net that I was Backstreet fan. cant have that shit getting out, so I kept quiet" she said, grinning

"Jesus" was all I could mutter

Nick just laughed at me "you better go pack hon. we have to be at the airport by 8"

"am?!" I yelled, jumping up. Nick just laughed and nodded "shit!" I turned and ran towards the stairs

Kris stood up with a laugh, handing Nick the remote "go ahead and make yourself comfy. I better get up there with her and make sure she doesn't destroy her closet. you know where the kitchen is" she said to Nick with a laugh

"shut up and help me pack!" I yelled to her, running up the stairs

"have fun" Nick muttered with a grin

"shut up. or I just might make you go up there and help her" Kris said

"oh hell no! see ya"

"Kristine!" I yelled from the top of the stairs, glaring down at her "now"

"coming dear" she said with a laugh, coming upstairs with me

***********

"Nick, I'm sleeping on the couch and you're sleeping in my room" I said to him stubbornly as we stood there glaring at one another

"no. I told you, I'll take the couch" he said, reaching for the sheets and pillow in my hand

"Nick, stop. you're a guest and you're not sleeping on the couch. I'll be fine. besides, I'm shorter than you so it wont bother me as much. I dont want to listen to you bitch about how much your back hurts like you did in New York"

"damn it Katie. just give me the sheets and pillow so I can get some fucken sleep" he said, reaching for the stuff again

I pulled my arms further from him "no" I said

"Jesus Christ. any reason you two cant just sleep in her room together? I think you're both old enough to behave in there" Kris said, seeming shocked that we are even having this 'fight' right now

"behaving is no fun!" Nick said with a smirk, winking at me

I just rolled my eyes at him "right Carter. we're not ruining this friendship with sex. I've read too much about you on groupie's central" I teased him

"ugh. more info then I need to think about I'm sure" Kris said "tell me you at least use a condom"

"yes!" Nick said defensively

"uh-huh. every time?" Kris asked him

"yes!" he said again, starting to blush

"right. anyways, I'm going to bed. you two can fight this out. just do it quietly. I'll be up in the morning to say bye. night" she said, heading up the stairs

"night Kris" Nick and I both called after her

"so, you giving me the sheets or you letting me sleep with you?" Nick asked me

I just looked at him for a second. if I really let myself think about it I'd know why I'm hesitating about this. but for now, I'm choosing to not think at all. he's my friend (hell, probably my best friend aside from Kris) and that's all I'll think about "come on. just dont hog the covers" I said to him with a laugh, turning on the hallway light and shutting off the living room light

"sweet!" Nick said with a smirk, following me upstairs. I just shook my head at him and laughed.

Chapter 15

Thursday - November 28, 2002

as soon as we stepped off the plane in Marathon it hit me. the last time I was down here was the day of the accident. what hit me more though was the fact that Kris and I had been chasing down Escalades in hopes of seeing Nick. I saw Nick reaching for our bags and snapped out of my daze, reaching down for my suitcase.

"I got it" Nick said, waving my hand away "take the keys. the truck should be right to the left"

I silently took the keys from him, going to the left and immediately seeing the Escalade. I wonder if Nick knows exactly what I was doing in Marathon that day. I doubt it. it's not like I've had the guts to tell him. I sighed and disarmed the alarm to the truck, going to the back and opening it for Nick.

"Jesus woman. how much shit did you pack? you do know that you'll be home this Wednesday, right? not next month" he teased me, lifting my suitcase into the back.

"shut up" I said to him with a laugh. "I had to pack warm clothes for everywhere but here. and then I had to pack shorts and stuff for this weekend. so stop bitching at me"

Nick just shook his head and rolled his eyes at me "get in. we're late and mom's probably having a cow"

great. that's all I need is to meet an aggravated Jane Carter. I have read some not so nice things about Nick's mom over the years. hell, I honestly dont ever recall reading anything nice about the woman! I swear to God, if she is as horrible as people say and Nick even thinks about leaving me alone with her, I'll kill him. we got in the truck and Nick pulled out of the parking space, heading to the exit. once we got to the exit he waited to take a left onto Overseas Highway. I glanced to the left, seeing the exact spot where the accident happened. there's no way you could tell unless you know exactly where to look. the skid marks are long gone and other than the fact that I saw it happen, I wouldn't be able to tell.

"hey, you okay?" Nick asked me quietly, glancing over at me as he waited for traffic to go by so he can make the turn onto the street. "Katie"

I snapped out of my trance and turned my head, looking out my widow - away from his house "yeah. I'm fine" I said

"hey, look at me" he said softly, reaching over and gently turning my head towards him "it doesn't bother me anymore. that spot in the road. dont let it bother you, ok? I dont want you to hate coming down here cause you remember the accident then get all sad"

I just kind of shrugged "it's not like I can just forget it" I muttered

"yeah, I know. but dont let it get you sad. just think, if that truck had never hit my bus, we never would have met. so see, something good did happen from it"

I just looked at him, amazed. why exactly does this man not have a girlfriend? Christ, he's got to be the sweetest guy I have ever met (not to mention drop dead gorgeous!). hmm... maybe I'll have to ask him later about that. "how come you always know exactly what to say to make me feel better?" I asked him instead

he just smirked at me "it's a gift" he said as he took the left then almost immediately took a right into the first of his two driveways. I just laughed and rolled my eyes at him as he drove down the long driveway. Jesus, look at all this land. it's gorgeous. and I can see the ocean straight ahead of this. now this is the fucken life. it's like his own little private town! Nick pulled up to a pretty big house and parked, shutting off the truck "this is mom and dad's place. my house is that little wooden house down there. it's small but that's what I like about it. it's my own little bachelor pad and it's a mile away from my mother. big bonus there, trust me"

Jesus. does this man even like his mother! why am I suddenly not so sure I want to be here right now? before I could say anything the front door opened and I looked over, seeing Bob coming out of the house. he smiled a big smile at me then came walking towards the truck. I gave him a small smile then opened my door, being engulfed in a huge hug as soon as I was standing.

"Katie! it's so good to finally meet you!" Bob said, genuinely

I smiled a real smile at him, immediately feeling at ease with him "thanks. it's great to meet you too" I said

"of course, it shouldn't have taken this long. I kept hounding that son of mine to bring you down here. he just refuses to listen"

"shut up pops" Nick said, but he had a big smile on his face. he went over to his dad and gave him a big hug "everyone here?"

"yup. your mother has been bitching all morning that you never should have gone to Detroit to do 'that damn parade on Thanksgiving'. you know how she gets" Bob said, rolling his eyes

"oh yeah" Nick groaned

"let's get Katie inside. I know everyone is dieing to meet her. of course, Angel's not sure weather to love you or hate you for saving her brother" Bob said to me with a laugh "sometimes I really think she wonders"

"she loves me" Nick said from behind us

"sometimes" Bob said with a chuckle. as soon as we walked into the house we could hear a football game on TV and just a bunch of talking going on all at once. "welcome to our world" Bob said, shaking his head "Nick's home!"

all of a sudden a mini version of Nick came running into the room and right into Nick's arms.

"hey bro" Nick said with a laugh, hugging Aaron "Christ kid, I only left home two days ago. you're not sick of me yet?"

"nope" Aaron said as I just stared at him. with all three of them in the same room (Bob, Nick and Aaron) the only thing I can think of is how fucking much they look alike

"Air, this is Katie. Kate, this squirt is Aaron" Nick said to me

"hey! how are you!" Aaron said, immediately throwing his arms around me "it's nice to finally meet you!"

I laughed at him "nice to meet you too Aaron" I said. before I knew it all their sisters were in the room with us and I was getting hugged so much I was beginning to think I had stepped into the Twilight Zone. I have never met a more welcoming family in my life.

"Bob? do I hear Nick?" I heard someone call. oh Jesus. that can only be one person. I think my eyes went wide with actual fear as Jane came into the room. "hey sweetie" she said to Nick

"hey mama" he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as I stood frozen in my spot. "mama, this is Katie Johns. Kate, my mother Jane"

"nice to meet you Mrs. Carter" I mumbled, holding out my hand - praying at this point that she doesn't grab it and take a bite!

she quickly shook her head at me and pulled me into a warm hug "I cant ever thank you enough" she said quietly in my ear. I stood frozen for a second then hugged her back

"ma, stop. she doesn't want to be reminded about the accident all the time" Nick said with a sigh

"leave us alone. go play with your brother or something." Jane said to him "Katie, you must be exhausted. would you like to relax in one of the guest rooms or anything?"

"I'm fine Mrs. Carter. really" I said

she shook her head at me again "Jane, please. how about we leave the guys to do their thing and we can sit out on the porch and get to know one another"

"sounds good" I said, still not 100% convinced it sounds like a good idea, but I have to admit, she's been very nice to me so far!

"dinner will be ready in about an hour. dont snack" she warned everyone then she and I went out to the porch with the girls behind us.

*************

"you ready to head up to my house?" Nick asked me at around 10:30pm, noticing me trying more and more to hide my yawns.

I smiled at him "yeah. I'm beat" I said, standing up and starting to collect everyone's glasses off the table

"Kate. dont you dare. put those down. we"ll take care of it" Jane said to me "but......"

"Kate" she said in the perfect mother tone

I just laughed and put the glasses down "dont say I didnt try" I said to her with a smile. she has been nothing but warm to me all day and I have to say I actually like her

she smiled warmly at me then turned to Nick "why doesn't Katie stay over here with us. we have plenty of guest rooms for her to use"

ok. while I may like her, I certainly cant see staying here with her. not without Nick at least. hell, he's like my security blanket down here!

"ma, we're fine" Nick sighed, standing up

"but you only have 1 bedroom" she insisted

"ma" Nick said

"but ..... oh" she said quietly, looking away from Nick

I turned bright red and I wanted the floor to swallow me up. she thinks Nick and I are sleeping together. ok, we slept together last night but all we did was sleep!

"Jesus Ma. stop. we're friends, ok? I dragged Katie down here to spend time with me before my tour starts. not to spend time with you. Katie, come on" he said, starting to sound more than just a little aggravated.

"today was wonderful. thank you for having me" I said, trying to get everyone's mind off of me staying at Nick's.

"we enjoyed having you Katie. I hope we didnt scare you off and that you'll be back" Bob said with a laugh

I smiled at him "you didnt scare me off, I promise" I said

"good. we hope to see you back down here soon" he said

I just nodded. I"m assuming that maybe I"ll be back down here sooner or later, but who knows. I hugged everyone goodbye then Nick and I went out to his truck.

"do you not like your mother?" I asked him as soon as we were in the truck

Nick just looked at me with a smirk "not always. she was nice to you though. I was kinda worried. one wrong word or look from her to you and we would have been out of there. actually, it's been a long time since I've seen her act that nice" he said

"she seems real nice" I said

he just scoffed, driving down to his house. he grabbed the bags then dropped them right in front of the front door as soon as we got inside. "this is it" he said, nodding towards the house.

"what, no tour?" I teased him.

he just rolled his eyes at me then took my arm in his hand "living room" he said, walking up through what is obviously the living room "kitchen/dining room. porch. pools right down there over to the right" he said, leading me down a long hallway "bathroom and my room. there ya go. tour over"

"yeah, I felt the love of that tour. jerk" I said with a laugh, looking at his room. wow. it's got to be even bigger then the living room. hell, it's probably the biggest room in the whole house "it's nice though. perfect for just you, huh?"

"yeah. that's why I like it. perfect for one person and no room for more"

I raised my eyebrows at him "is that your way of telling me to get my ass back up to your parents and stay there?"

"what, no! Jeez Kate. that's not what I meant!"

I just laughed at him "you're so easy. can I turn on the TV?" I asked, heading back towards the living room.

"yeah. I gotta make a phone call real quick. I'll be there in a few"

"k" I called over my shoulder, searching for the remote when I got to the living room. I finally found it then just stared at it. you have got to be kidding. does one remote really need all these buttons! I know I'm blonde and all but come on, there has to be a simple 'power' button. I finally was able to turn the TV on and I surfed the channels (all friggen like 900 of them! who the hell needs that many damn channels on a TV!) and finally settled on watching Soap Net (ok, that's my little addiction. watching soaps. while I dont tape them everyday like I used to, I still catch the shows at night on Soap Net once in awhile to get caught up). I was in the middle of General Hospital when I heard Nick bellow for me.

"what?" I called to him

"c'mere" he said

I got up and walked down to his bedroom. "what's up?" I asked him

"here. someone wants to say hi to ya" he said, handing me his cell phone.

huh? who the hell would want to talk to me? I glanced down at the phone and saw 'Brian - private' on the screen. Brian? oh hell no! I practically threw the phone back at Nick, backing away from him while Nick died laughing

"shit. she figured it out Rok. it aint gonna work" he said into the phone "she looked at the display to see if there was a name on there ..... I'm not sure. she's standing here looking like a deer caught in headlights" I picked up his wallet off his dresser and threw it at him, hitting him in the chest and just making him laugh harder at me "now she's throwing things at me! .... I'll try, hold on. Kate, come on. he just wants to say hi"

"no" I hissed at him

"yes" he said, shoving the phone at me again

I glared at him but knew I wasn't going to win. I sighed then took the phone "hi" I said into the phone, trying to be as cheerful as I could

Brian chuckled in my ear "hi Katie. this is Brian Littrell" he said

"yeah, I figured that out" I said

he just laughed again "I actually just wanted to thank you for pulling Nicky outta that bus. if it weren't for you we might have been a quartet. and I dont think Jive would be too happy" he said with a laugh

I just laughed. what the hell else am I supposed to do "it was nothing" I said quietly

"Rok! I told you not to thank her! she hates that!" Nick yelled (loudly) from his spot on the bed. I turned and just glared at him

Brian laughed in my ear again "tell him to shut up. anyways, I just wanted to say hi. next time Nicky is in Atlanta be sure you come up with him, ok?" Brian asked me

"yeah. sounds good" I said.

"ok. tell Nick I said bye. it was nice talking to you"

"you too" I said then we hung up "that was fucken wrong Carter!"

Nick just laughed "come on hon! it was worth it to see the look on your face!"

"bastard" I said to him with a laugh then I just looked at him for a second "can I ask you something without you getting mad?"

"uh, sure" Nick said

"I thought you weren't really talking to the guys. I thought they didnt exactly support your solo album"

Nick just kind of shrugged "they dont exactly. they're slowly getting better about it. Leigh had the baby on the 26th and I wanted to congratulate them"

"so you do talk to him then?" I asked

Nick just shrugged "this is the first time in over two months I've talked to him. he never even called me when the accident was all over the news" Nick said softly.

I saw the flash of sadness in his eyes when he said that and it pissed me off. those 4 guys were Nick's family on tour for 10 years. and they couldn't even call him after the accident. fuckers! "asshole" I muttered, under my breath

Nick looked up at me and gave me a small smile "thanks" he said

I glanced at him, confused "for?"

"everyone else always tells me that 'the guys love you Nick. dont over react. they're just busy'. it's bullshit and even you know it. you dont know them yet you weren't gonna not call Bri an asshole in front of me. so, thanks"

I just smiled at him "I can be brutally honest, trust me" I said with a laugh "now come watch a movie with me. I'm getting bored"

Nick just rolled his eyes at me, getting up and following me into the living room, muttering under his breath the whole time that I'm 'demanding'. whatever. he's out here with me, isn't he?

Chapter 16

Friday - November 29, 2002

I woke up with a start - my heart beating out of control. I tried to move but quickly realized I cant. Nick has his arm thrown across my waist and his left leg is covering my own leg, making it very hard to move! I turned to look at him and noticed his head on my pillow. Jesus, it's a king size bed! guess he wasn't kidding last night when he said he likes to cuddle! as I laid there looking at him the reason for me waking up out of a sound sleep came back to me and I looked away from him. ok, I need to get out of this bed. I quietly moved my leg out from under his then tried to lift his arm off my stomach

"dont" he muttered in a sleep filled voice. I paused for a second then once he was back asleep I continued to try to move his arm "Katie, stop"

"I have to get up" I said to him

"no. I'm comfy" he said, throwing his leg over mine again and nuzzling his face into my neck

oh Jesus. kill me now. "Nick, I gotta go to the bathroom" I lied. anything to get out of this bed right now.

he sighed but moved his arm and leg, leaving me free to move "you'd better come right back to bed" he muttered, rolling onto his back

I got out of bed and just looked down at him for a second. I think he's already sound asleep again. his hair is going every which way and the covers are thrown all over the bed. I shook my head then went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. ok, get a grip. it was just a dream. I leaned against the counter and looked in the mirror - seeing my own flushed face. I ran the water and splashed some on my face, trying to think of anything but that damn dream that woke me up. Jesus. ok, having vivid sex dreams about your best friend who is also sleeping in the same bed as you is NOT good! I dont recommend it, trust me! I stared at myself in the mirror, not even really seeing anything as the dream kept coming back to me. me, laying in bed and suddenly feeling Nick's soft fingers carefully moving their way over my scars, then quickly moving to my stomach. soft lips on my shoulder, then a quick flick of a tongue. feeling myself being pulled back against Nick and feeling his want as he gently bit my shoulder. I stepped back from the mirror, shaking my head - willing all those thoughts to leave me. Jesus, please just leave! I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I cant just stay in this bathroom for the whole day. I went back into the bedroom and froze when I saw Nick laying in bed. ok, there is no way in hell I can get back into bed with him right now. not gonna happen. I quietly grabbed a pillow and the blanket off the floor then quietly walked out of the room, closing the door behind me. I walked down to the living room and laid down on the couch, turning on the TV and praying for something to take my mind off of my dream.

"what the hell are you doing?"

I jumped when I heard Nick's voice and looked over at him, seeing him standing at the end of the couch in boxers and a t-shirt, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes "nothing" I muttered, looking down away from his stare. Jesus. I cant even look at him without thinking about my dream.

"then come back to bed" he said

I quickly shook my head no "I'm not tired" I muttered

"Kate, it's fucken 4 in the morning. you're tired" he said, starting to sound aggravated at me

I just shook my head at him "go on back to bed. I'm just gonna watch some TV" I muttered

"I have a TV in my room Kate"

"I didnt want to wake you"

"well you did. come on hon. just come back to bed. I'm fucken exhausted" he whined

"sweetie, go to bed. I'll come back if I get tired" like hell! Nick just shook his head at me then came behind the couch, throwing his leg over the back of it. "what're you doing?" I asked him

"move over a little" he said.

before I could even ask him why I suddenly felt his body behind mine on the couch, his arm across my waist and his head on my pillow behind me "what are you doing?" I all but squeaked out

"I told ya, I like to cuddle" he said with a chuckle "now shut up so I can go back to sleep" his lightly kissed the back of my head and moved around, getting more comfortable while I just laid there perfectly still - wondering what I did to deserve this fucking torture.

*************

the next time I woke up, I could feel soft fingertips tracing my back - exactly where each of my scars are. it took me a minute to wake up enough to realize that this time I'm not dreaming. Nick is still curled up on the couch behind me, and this time it's really him tracing my scars. the next thing I felt was his hardness poking at me on my lower back. Jesus Christ. I gently shifted my waist away from his body, trying to make it seem like I'm moving in my sleep. I heard Nick chuckle behind me and I knew that it didnt work exactly as I had hoped.

"guess it's me that has to piss this time, eh?" he joked behind me. I just gave him a soft chuckle. at least that's what I hope it came out as, and not some fucking sex starved moan. "move over a little so I can get up" he pushed me slightly away from him and then climbed over me, walking down the hallway towards the bathroom. I let out the breath I was holding as soon as he was out of my sight. all I need to do is get that fucking dream out of my mind and I'll be fine. I can do that. right? my answer was pretty clear as soon as Nick came back into the living room. Christ, I cant even look him in the eyes without feeling my face start to flush. this should be a fun weekend "Kate"

"huh?" I asked, looking up at him then immediately looking at his chest instead of his eyes

he chuckled at me "I asked if you were hungry. cause I'm fucking starving"

"yeah" was all I could mumbled

"hey, you okay?" he asked me, coming over and sitting down on the couch, moving my legs back to make room for himself. "you look flushed" he reached over to put his hand on my forehead and I automatically backed away from his touch. "what's wrong?"

"nothing" I muttered.

"bullshit. Kate, you've been acting weird since you woke up in the middle of the night. you practically jumped outta bed, ran to the bathroom then I wake up and find you out here on the couch. then you flinched when I crawled onto the couch with you and I thought you were gonna jump outta your skin when I was tracing your scars a few minutes ago. what gives?" he asked, looking down at me - wanting an answer

I just stared at his chest. what the hell does he want me to say? that right now all I can think about is jumping him? oh, that'd go over real well. Christ, why the hell did I have to dream about him like that? "I'm fine. maybe just over tired" I muttered to him. hey, that sounded good to me.

"you're lieing"

well, guess it didnt sound as good to him as it did to me. "I'm fine" I said, sitting up on the couch

"then why the hell wont you look me in the eye?" he asked.

Christ! I thought he was the 'dumb blonde'. why the hell is he so friggen observant ? I forced myself to look up into his eyes, seeing confusion and some anger in them "I'm fine Nick. I'm still half asleep. I'm not a morning person" I said to him, smiling at him.

Nick looked at me for a second then slowly nodded "you'd tell me if something was wrong, right? you know whatever it is, I'd fix it" I just looked at him for a second then nodded at him. honestly, I do know that. and I also know that he means it whole heartedly. "ok, if you're sure. what do you want for breakfast?"

"whatever is fine" I said, standing up

Nick just sighed, shaking his head teasingly at me "you need to make some decisions here woman. we have cereal, eggs or Burger King. it's your choice" he said

"Burger King" I said with a smile. hey, dont ever give me the option of Burger King for breakfast unless that's what you want. cause guaranteed that'll be what I pick!

"figures" he said with a chuckle "tell me what you want and I'll go."

"just a number one without sausage with a diet coke"

"that all?" he asked

"yep" I said

"k, I'll be back soon" he said. he headed down to his bedroom to put on some shorts and grab his wallet then he left.

as soon as he was out the front door I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the gym's number. "hey Jeanne, it's Katie"

"hey hon! you down in Marathon?" she asked me

"yeah. thanks so much for doing this for me"

"all I did was give you some much deserved time off. I work you too much and pay you to little."

"you do not!" I said with a laugh

"you dont get paid what you're worth, Katie. we both know this. now anyways, why you calling me?"

"actually, I was kind of hoping Kris was free. I kinda need to talk to her"

"she's right here. you have fun this weekend"

"I will. thanks Jeanne" I said, meaning it with all my heart

"here's Kris" she said

"hey! how was meeting the family? is Jane as horrible as the fans say?" Kris asked me as soon as she got on the phone

"actually, she was very warm and welcoming to me. I think even Nick was surprised"

"good. had she been mean to you I would have kicked her ass. why you calling me anyways? pop star boring you already?" she asked with a laugh

"God Kris. I dont know if I can spend this weekend with him" I whined

she immediately stopped laughing, hearing the tone in my voice "why? what's wrong? did you and Nick have another fight?" she asked all at once.

"no. but I dreamt about him last night" I muttered

"and?" she asked, confused. I sighed and told her about my dream. all of it, knowing I can tell her everything and she wont judge me. yeah, she'll offer me her advice but she will never judge me. "damn! so when you woke up on the couch he was tracing your scars! shit girl! that had to freak you out!"

"that's all you have to say about everything I just told you?!" I asked her with a laugh

"oh hell no. but that's what sticks out right now. fuck, you'd just had a very vivid sex dream about the man then you wake up to him touching you like that! hell, I'm surprised you were able to hold it together"

"yeah, me too. so what do I do?" I asked her, whining

"jump him" was all she said

"excuse me!" I screamed. that was so not what I was expecting her to tell me!

she just laughed "what? it's no secret you want him Kate. hell, you wanted him 4 years before you even met him. and now that you've met him, I'm sure you want him even more. not only is he gorgeous - to you not me, mind you - but he's a fucken sweetheart! so I say jump him bones and enjoy it. Christ, you two act like you're dating, you might as well do it" she said

"but......" I started then stopped

"but what?" she asked

"what if he doesn't want me? then I ruin everything?" I asked her

"ok, have you never actually seen how the man looks at you? he wants you" was all she said

"Kris....."

"hon, would I lie to you about this? would I tell you he has absolute lust in his eyes whenever he looks at you if it weren't true?"

"no" I said quietly

"exactly. maybe jumping him isn't the best choice. but I do think you need to talk to him about this. see if maybe you two can bring your friendship to the next level"

"and if he says no?" I asked

"then you remain friends. it happens all the time hon. but you’ll never know unless you talk to him. do you really want to find out three years from now that he wanted you as much as you want him but you were both to scared to tell the other?"

"no" I admitted

"exactly. so talk to him. you dont have to do it today if you dont want. see how the weekend goes. maybe you're just all hot and bothered cause of your dream. I doubt that’s it, but if you wanna be sure then wait to talk to him. but I do think you need to talk to him before you come home"

"yeah. we'll see" I said as I heard the front door open "shit. he's back. I'll call you later"

"k hon. bye" she said and we hung up

"I'm back!" Nick bellowed

"ok!" I called back to him, heading towards the kitchen to eat.

Chapter 17

Sunday - December 1, 2002

"you were awesome!" I said to Nick, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him as soon as he came off stage. he was so nervous before he went out on stage. I was surprised to see him that nervous. I just figured he'd be so used to playing venues that playing for a few thousand people would be nothing to him. but the man was pacing the floor for a good half hour! it cracked me up too!

"thanks" he said with a smile

"ewww ... you're soaked!" I said, stepping back from him

Nick laughed at the look on my face "yeah. that kinda happens after 45 minutes on stage hon" he said

"yuck. you are gonna shower before we go out, right?" I asked him

Ron just laughed next to me "she's got your number kid" he said to Nick

"shut up. and yes, I'm gonna shower" Nick said to me

Ron glanced around and quickly stood in front of Nick "time to get you to the dressing room. chat in there" he said, all but pushing Nick towards the dressing room then grabbing my arm when I didnt move quick enough for him

"no need to yank Ron" I said to him, struggling to keep up with him

"fans kid. I dont think you need to see your Nicky mauled. do you?" Ron asked. I just huffed at him, wanting to tell him that Nick is not 'my Nicky'. "oh, come on hon. dont get all huffy with me. I didnt pull you that hard"

"hmm" was all I said to Ron, but I glanced over at him and smiled.

he just shook his head at me "you need to pay me double when she's with you" Ron said to Nick

"hey!" I said, offended by that

Nick just chuckled as we walked into the safety of his dressing room "why?"

"cause I'm dealing with double the attitude and she's as bad as you are. if not worse"

"hey!" I said again.

"it's all good girl" Ron said to me with a smile "I'll be outside. and I expect a bonus in my check"

"right dude" Nick said to him with a laugh as Ron went outside "he was just kidding Kate"

"no he wasn't" I mumbled "he thinks I'm a pain in the ass"

Nick just shook his head no "if he thought that, he would have left you back there to deal with the fans on your own. him grabbing you? that's his way of letting you know he cares"

"ha" was all I said

"I'm serious hon. I've seen him leave more than one of my ex's in the dust, getting me to the bus or whatever and making them deal with the fans. if he didnt like you, he'd have left you there. trust me" I just looked at him but didnt say anything. he took of his soaked t-shirt and threw it on the couch "I'm gonna go shower. I'll be out in a few minutes"

"take your time. really" I called after him

"bitch!" he called back, laughing.

**************

"I'm going for triple pay now dude" Ron said to Nick as he reached over to help me

I yanked my arm away from Ron's grasp and glared at him "I dont need your fucking help" I spat at him

Ron just raised his eyebrows at me "oh no? you can barely walk" he said

"I'm fine." I said, starting to walk away from him

"Katie, wait" Nick called after me. I ignored him and kept stumbling down the street "you need to fucken lay off her, got it?" he said to Ron

"what? dude I'm just fucking with her. she knows that"

"oh yeah? you think that hurt look in her eyes is an act? she thinks that you think she's a pain in the ass. I know you're fucking with her. problem is, she doesn't" Nick said then came up behind me, putting his arm around my waist "hey, it's me" he said when I started swinging my arms to get his arm off me

"oh" I said softly, looking away from him. refusing to let him see the tears in my eyes. fuck Ron. and fuck all those damn drinks I drank at the bar. if I wasn't so damn drunk I certainly wouldn't be this emotional. I'm sure I still would have yelled at Ron, but there is no way in hell I would be fucking crying over it if I were sober.

"are you crying?" Nick asked me, stunned when he heard me sniffle. shit. he stopped walking and pulled my arm a little, making me stop with him, and turned me so that he can see me.

"leave me alone" I mumbled, refusing to look at him

"back off!" he yelled, making me jump. I glanced behind us and saw Ron coming closer to us

"what's wrong? she okay?" Ron asked and I had to admit that I heard concern in his voice

"I fucken told you to back off Ron." was all Nick said.

"ok man. I'll be right back here a bit" Ron said, sounding confused now.

"honey, dont cry. he's just fucking with you. he likes you. I promise" Nick said to me gently, softly running his hand up and down my left arm

"I'm acting like an idiot. it's just the booze" I muttered, embarrassed beyond belief. I'm standing in the middle of a sidewalk in New Jersey, drunk off my ass and crying because my friend's bodyguard doesn't like me. can I get any more fucking pathetic?!

"stay right here, ok? I'm just gonna go talk to Ron real quick" Nick said to me "Kate"

"yeah. ok" I muttered, standing against the building next to me. I'm really beginning to think I shouldn't have had those last few drinks.

"Kate? can I talk to you for a second?" Ron asked me softly, slowly coming into my vision

I sighed, turning to glare at Nick. he just told me with his eyes to let Ron talk "yeah" I mumbled

"hon, I dont think you're a pain in the ass. I like you. honest. I was just fucking with you and Nick. with you this drunk I shouldn't have. I'm sorry" Ron said, genuinely

I just shook my head at him "you dont have to apologize Ron. I'm acting like a baby. I just .... it's the booze."

Ron nodded "I know. but I want you to know that I really do like you. in fact, I think you need to come out with Nick on tour more often. he's easy to take care of when he's got you to keep him busy"

I had to laugh at that "I'm sorry" I said to him softly

"that's not needed hon. now, can I help you to the bus?" he asked, putting his arm out for me to take

I looked up and smiled at him "sure" I said, trying to link my arm with his. Ron laughed when I couldn't get the coordination to link our arms together and took my arm in his hand, linking our arms

"we all better now?" Nick asked, coming up behind us and standing on the other side of me "friends?"

"we'll get there" Ron said with a smile as we walked down the sidewalk

"you need to give him a bonus. he's nice" I said to Nick

"fucken brainwasher" he said to Ron, glaring at him

Ron died laughing. "I didnt tell her to say that, I swear!" Ron said

"right" Nick said, shaking his head and laughing

it took us about 5 minutes to get to the bus. when we got to it Ron unlocked it and Nick helped me up the steps, sitting me down on the couch

"you two good for the night?" Ron asked, poking his head around the corner of the steps and looking at us

"yeah. we're cool. when we leaving for New York?" Nick asked

"I have no idea. when you feel the bus move, we're leaving" Ron said. he looked from Nick to me then back to Nick again "do not even think about leaving this bus without me, got it? I dont care where you think you want to go" Nick just looked at him "dont fuck with me on this one Carter. there are too many fans around right now"

"yeah, fine, ok. whatever" Nick said

"damn it Carter"

"I said we wont go anywhere. stop treating me like a kid. go on your own bus" Nick said, all but pushing Ron off the steps

"night Katie" Ron called to me

"night Ron" I called back to him, trying to turn the TV on

Nick turned towards me after he shut the door after Ron, laughing when he saw me just staring at the remote "how fucken drunk are you?" he asked me, sitting down next to me

"I'm not that bad. I remember everything about tonight. I'm just kinda dizzy" I admitted

"you wanna go to bed?" Nick asked, looking concerned. I shook my head no (that of course being a big mistake). Nick stood up and grabbed my hands, getting me to stand up

"I dont wanna go to bed" I whined

Nick just grinned at me "hon, you can barely see straight. you need to lie down"

"but I wanna stay up with you" I said

"how 'bout I go to bed with you? I can watch TV in there. that way you can at least lie down." he said

"k" I said, happy with that. Nick chuckled at me and lead me down to the back of the bus where his bedroom is.

"hey, is this the same bus? or did you have to buy a new one?" I asked as I climbed on the bed

"new one. the other one was totaled" Nick said, taking my boots off for me "get under the covers" I got under the covers and Nick all but tucked me in "I'll be right back" he went into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later in his boxers. "you still awake? I figured you'd have passed out by now"

"stop making fun of me" I muttered.

he just laughed and climbed into bed. "get some sleep. I dont want you feeling like shit tomorrow. I've got stuff planned for us in New York"

"k" I muttered, too drunk to even want to know what 'stuff' he has planned.

we both laid there silently for a few minutes, Nick channel surfing trying to find something he wants to watch.

"Nick" I said to him quietly, not turning my face to look at him

"yeah hon" he said, still flipping through the channels at lightning speed

"how come you .... I mean do you not .... never mind" I muttered.

"huh?" Nick asked with a chuckle

"forget it" I said

"hey, talk to me. what's up?" I just shook my head no "you gonna be sick?" he asked, softly rubbing my back for me

"no" I said truthfully.

"so what's up then?" he asked

I took a deep breath, knowing this is the best time to ask him this. I may be drunk, but not so drunk that I wont remember his answer in the morning. but I also know that I would never be able to have this conversation with him completely sober "why haven't you ever come on to me?" I asked him, my voice barely about a whisper. his hand immediately froze on my back and I bit my bottom lip. ok, somehow I dont think I'm going to like this answer.

"what?" he asked me, his voice sounding shocked

"is it my scars?" I asked him, still refusing to turn my head to look at him. "cause I totally understand if it is. they disgust me so I can see........"

"stop it. now" Nick said, his voice filled with anger. I immediately shut up. "turn around and look at me"

oh like hell! I can barely talk to him like this! never mind facing him "no" was all I said

"damn it Kate. fucken turn around and look at me" he demanded. I paused for maybe half a second then turned around so I'm laying on my side facing him instead of on my stomach. I lowered my gaze and stared at his footprint tattoos on his chest. anything not to look him in the eye. "it's not your fucking scars. you need to stop thinking shit like that, got it? your scars aren't half as bad as you think they are"

I cringed at the anger still evident in his voice "what is it then?" I asked, barely able to get the words to come out of my mouth.

"Jesus Kate" he muttered, moving so that he's laying on his back just staring up at the ceiling "do we really have to do this now?"

"no. I just .... forget it" I muttered. ok, why do I have the feeling I just completely fucked everything up between us.

"I just dont want to do this tonight Kate. not with you this drunk. ok?" he said, his voice soft and caring once again

I swallowed down the tears that are threatening to fall. "ok" I said, turning on my side so that my back is facing him, biting my bottom lip to keep the tears away

"Katie" he said gently

"I'm tired Nick. the room is spinning more" I lied

he sighed next to me "k. night hon" he said

"night" I mumbled, wondering how the hell to get myself outta this mess now.

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